I haven't had a good rant in a while...

But let's get one rolling...can we talk about the weakness that the music industry has been throwing at us this year? Seriously, most of the stuff that we've been listening to for the past few months is on albums from 2008. BEP came out with an album that I personally liked, but is really too polarizing to call great or epic, and certainly was not on the level of 808's. Other than that, you've got an Eminem album falling short of expectation, a sophomore album which is a great adjective for Flo Rida's R.O.O.T.S. album. Don't get me wrong, it was good, but didn't really mature from the first album. Don't worry man, Kanye had the same issue.

But other than that, where has a solid album from anybody been in 2009? I'm waiting for a nobody to show or Weezy to pull out back-to-back amazing albums, or perhaps we can hope for Relapse 2 to be everything Em was holding back from us in the first album. Green Day pretty much phoned in their album, The Fray was average, and Blackout! 2 was a letdown, not to say there wasn't a solid track or two. And let's face it, Sean Paul is not going to wow us in August. Hey maybe, just maybe, Witney Houston will have a better rebirth than even Mimi. And maybe, stick with me here, maybe Mariah's album will be good, too. They both come out in September.

Maybe Pearl Jam will be great, perhaps Skynyrd will rock again. Both have albums coming out this year. But something tells me that we may not be in for much. I'm really looking forward to these albums coming out and I would love to be impressed by them, but we've already been let down by a few bands and artists this year. Seems like the recession's got them in a funk, too.

A Thousand and One Ways, Pt 2.

11) I gotta drop a deuce
12) Time to make a Mr. Hankey
13) Off to bake brownies
14) [while listening to Under Pressure, by Queen] - Yeah, my intestines are under a bit of pressure, so if you'll excuse me...
15) Time to visit the loo!
16) [while dinner is being prepared] - Wow, that looks amazing! I'd better go make some room!
17) Necesito usar al bano!
18) Excuse me, where's the defacation station?
19) Time to take my rightful seat atop the porcelin throne!
20) It's gettin' pretty bad, a hole in the ground would do about now!
21) Whoa, pinch it! Off to un-clench!
22) Time to take a crap
23) Turd sandwiches don't make themselves!
24) Speaking of being full of shit...
25) [after ripping a loud fart] - And the foghorn signals the arrival of the waste barge! Dumping stations!


....awww, well it's no fun with no participation. To maybe be continued....

A Thousand and One Ways...

Without using one of these ways, I will attempt to introduce this topic.  I've always used various colorful descriptions to broach this topic, but the other day it dawned on me - there has got to be a Thousand and One ways... and so the idea of this entry was born.  Let us begin.

"There are A Thousand and One Ways"

...to announce to someone that,

1) You need to make a bowel movement.

This can be accomplished in a thousand different ways, for instance, by saying...

1)Where's the shitter?
2) I've gotta make a BM
3) I need to go #2
4) I gotta poo
5) Man I need to take a shit!
6) Okay, things are starting to move a bit [while rubbing your tummy]
7) Time to take a dump!
8) Um, where's your restroom?  I'll try not to destroy it!
9) Oh man, that [insert food type here] is starting to talk to me!
10) Whoa, time to make like a trash man and head for a dump!

....that's 10 to get started, but this is going all the way to 1,001, so get ready!

Going out on a limb...

Okay, so the following stream of entries is a little risque, but I don't really have much of a following yet in the first place, so what's the harm in a little fun, right?  It may not be the most appropriate topic, either, but it's harmless classic humor, done in good spirit, so why don't we all keep it light and just enjoy, k?  Also, please take time to click on the adds, as all proceeds are going to assist with the startup costs of a non-profit I'm starting.  Thanks for your help in getting my labor of love off the ground, and thanks for reading!  Finally, if you have any ideas to add to the following stream of entries, they are wholly welcome!  Here we go....

Bally's Makes Me Nervous....

Now, I'll be the first to exhonorate the fitness club chain if everything closes without a hitch, but let's just say that I have my doubts.  Currently, I have a membership at Bally's that is paid through 7/3/2009.  I signed up shortly after moving to the neighborhood, knowing that I needed a gym, and that with my recovering shoulder I didn't care if there was a basketball court.  Well, now that my shoulder is better and there are no Bally's locations with a court that are within a reasonable distance, I've decided to terminate my Bally's membership and switch to 24 Hour Fitness, since their 2 closeset locations to me have courts for me.  Makes sense, right?

So, in cancelling my Bally's membership, the nice lady on the phone (not her fault it took 20 minutes to get in touch with her) explained that I was paid through July 3rd and would no longer be charged for monthly services.  However, on Monday, I received a letter in the mail from Bally's that was a bill for next months payment!  I'm hoping that 's just them implicitly begging me to reinstate my membership, but I've got this nagging feeling that they'll just accrue a balance as a "late payment" if I don't do anything.  However, in looking online, I did notice that it said my membership expires 7/3/2009.  So, I'm hoping everything goes smooth with this transition, but I wanted to post my concern so that if the worst happens, I at least get to say that I called it.  I mean, I've heard stories, so I don't think I'm reaching to far with my concern, here. Tell me I'm not crazy! ;-)

KGB: Great Idea, Non-viable Business

I can see it now...A group of friends are swaying as they walk down the block trying to hail a cab. As numerous taxis whizzed by, the group begins to wonder what the average wait time is to hail a cab in their city. They begin a heated debate and wished they could resolve the issue with objective information. One member suggests it would be great if they could just text somebody to look up the answer for them to solve the disagreement. Boom! The idea of KGB is born.

But the problem with this idea is that it doesn't translate well in practice. Maybe it would have worked perfectly 5 years ago, but the technology today doesn't warrant paying $.99 for these answers. Smart phones can readily produce the answers to these questions with internet access that users already pay for at their disposal. Wikipedia, Google, Bing, Ask.com, and others can all provide these same answers at no additional cost to the user.

I thought I would give KGB a try last weekend after hiking Runyan Canyon, in order to find a Habit Burger near Studio City. Not only did the process with KGB take 7 minutes (could've found that info myself in under 7 minutes), but KGB came back with BAD INFORMATION! I was told the nearest Habit Burger to Studio City was at 12659 Moorpark St. in Studio City (there is no Habit in Studio City, trust me). A Google search of "habit burger studio city" returns a top result which indicates that the nearest Habit Burger is in Sherman Oaks and directs you to the main Habit website. Below that is a "Best of the Web, Local" entry which notes a Habit Burger Grill at the address they gave me, granted, but if you look at the site yourself HERE, you can understand that even a moderately internet savvy individual would not have considered this information viable and gone to the Habit's main site and location locator. If I'm going to pay 99 cents for a convenience, let's make sure we get it right and that it's convenient, yes?

My advice: If you know that you have a specific question that you want the correct answer to, just look it up on your phone's internet browser or dial 411. If you have Verizon, they'll even text you the phone # and address of what you're looking for, and even send it to the GPS on the phone to guide you there! So tell me again, KGB, what added value does your idea provide? Thought so.